Inside the Ricebowl: Part 1

I've been here for quite some time and amidst the over-scheduled chaos... I've found little time to communicate with others let alone craft a meticulously written blog.

Allow me to summarize my first five days here. Private chauffeur! 5 star hotel with a toilet that cleans my rear for me-- that's right. Incredible breakfast buffet-- huzzah Korean food. Accidentally eating spicy fermented octopus. Lotte World the amusement park. Frightening first impressions of Korea because of it. Giant fruit basket. Fancy haute couture department stores. Crazy crazy crazy grocery stores. (I have a video of it I'll upload eventually). annnnnnd this brings me to the Bath House, the meat and potatoes of my entry.

The Jimjilbang: Adventures in a Korean Sauna

Two days ago, around 8 pm after a deliciously satisfying jet-lag induced nap, I went off to experience the famed Jimjilbang, a traditional Korean bath house.We arrived and immediately took off our shoes (I keep forgetting and walk somewhere I'm not supposed to and I'm automatically met with a chorus of protests from Beechna and her mom and anyone else present). They gave us this doofy pink t-shirt/shorts combo.

Part 1. The actual Jimjilbang

Once we were dressed we went downstairs to the Jimjilbang. It's equivalent to a Korean day spa, except the whole experience only costs 8 buckeroos. There's a few snack bars, places to get your nails done, reflexology, an arcade (??? really?), henna tattoos , etc etc. TV's everywhere for your entertainment while you're relaxing. I'd rather relax to my ipod... I will remember that for next time. Korean television can be best described as... boisterous.

Anyway, there are these different rooms heated from the floor up. They have a temperature reading above the doors so you can decide how hot you want to go. We started fairly gentle and went into a 54˚ C room with smooth quartz crystal tile floors. You lay on the hot floor and put your head on this wooden head shaped block and veg to the TV or something. I fell asleep in this room. It was way cozy.

After a bit Beechna asked if I wanted it hotter. I went into the 79˚C room. This room had the same smooth tiles but they were covered with wicker mats so you wouldn't burn your skin. A better effect when it comes to sweatiness, but this is a dry sauna so to speak so I need HOT. Eventually, Beechna asked if I wanted to see the hottest. Naturally, I did. This one was shaped a bit like a giant ceramic beehive. You had to crawl in through something that closely resembled an oven door and you sat on this mound of burlap mats in dome of dark volcanic stone. It was a toasty 108˚C. I managed to sit there for 10 minutes. It was the kind of hot where you could instantly feel the sweat just pour out of your skin. The kind of hot where your lips are on fire and you feel like you can't breathe (but you can! it's a trick!). I loved it! Beechna couldn't handle more than 30 seconds though. We then went straight to the room that was -7˚C where we cooled our feet and sat against icy refrigerated pipes.

Once your body is cool you are supposed to walk on top of these bumpy, even sharp, stone mosaic walkways. Some are sharper than others. They promote circulation, better health and intense pain. My favorite room though was the room where the floor was covered in about 8 inches of smooth small quartz pebbles. Your feet sink into the hot little stones and then you lay on it and it conforms to your body. It was astonishingly comfortable. We must have stayed in there for 30 minutes.That was the Jimjilbang part of the spa experience.

Part 2. The "Sauna"

The three of us ladies stripped down and walked into the bath room (not bathroom, bath room). There are rows of open showers, showers where you sit on a little wooden stool and scrub the crap out of yourself and several different pools of... I don't even know what. Somehow, I found myself steeping in a giant, bubbling vat of Green Tea. It was maybe 42˚C at best. Nothing astonishing. The other baths were a variety of colors and temperatures. I didn't feel like swimming around in the 18˚C tub for obvious reasons.

I'm fairly positive that I was being scoped out constantly because, shit, who had ever seen anyone with red hair before? Or fair skin like mine?

Sungsoon then asked me if I wanted a massage. I'd watched this process from my Green Tea bath in wonderment. A bunch of naked Korean women were scrubbing other Korean women vigorously all over. I was intrigued. Ladies if you've ever been to a gynecologist, or gotten a bikini wax and have felt... apprehensive... this will surely cure you. I opted for the massage.The whole procedure takes place in a tiled area with a drain so they can slosh giant buckets of warm water over your body during the process. I laid down on a pink plastic cushy bench.

The Korean lady scrubbed the shit out of my skin, exfoliating for at least 30 minutes. It hurt but I knew it would be worth it. She talked to me in Korean the whole time, talked about my hair. Tried to tell me it was brown (it looks brown when wet) and I insisted it was red red red. (She later saw the truth!)

Next. Oh oh oh. She takes face towels, dips them in scalding water and then lays them all over my body! WTF! ow! Then, she kneads the boiling towels into my skin/muscles! But it felt amazing somehow! Oh also the slapping! She slapped my skin a lot, presumably for circulation. There are no secrets in the Korean bath house. None. She kept getting me to turn this way and that, moving me about as she needed. It was quite the trick not to fly off of the wet plastic bench.

Then she cleaned my face multiple times and then covered it in pureed cucumber and wrapped it in a hot towel. While my face was bundled she completely doused me in some kind of lavender smelling oil (I mean drenched me) and gave me more uncomfortably deep massaging.

Some of it is a blur. I was told to get up and shower off a few times during. She washed and conditioned my hair, massaged my face, gave me a bit of a pedicure too. It took about 2 hours. I have never felt so clean in my entire life. Haha it was funny to get slapped like that. Also! The whole procedure cost 85 bucks! You can get the 30 minute exfoliation for 15! It's amazing how much all that costs in the US by comparison.

Needless to say, it's awesome. I loved it. I feel healthy and refreshed and I can't wait to go again!

Until next time... with pictures I hope!