Fun with Valentine's day

Well, it's the time of year again and I'm caught between all that love Valentine's day for all that it represents, those that are disgusted by the commercialism-- the "UNvalentine's Day" camp, those that celebrate Single Person Awareness day and all the other exhausted parents and 'parents' (in my case) of the world.

Tonight was our school Valentine's Day shindig. Cards were exchanged. Kids paired off. Adults flooded the kids' dance floor with horrifying moves and impressions of the giddy children. Ping pong was played.

The adults sat with other adults tonight so the kids could have some semblance of privacy for a bit. It came as no surprise that I sat at the dinner table spending most of the meal crafting clever sentences out of Necco conversation hearts for a friend. This of course is a new phenomenon. I never before realized that Necco had created hearts with the word AND on it for its value as a conjunction. I suppose I envisioned it as a snarky way to spurn a suitor's plea.

"Oh Larissa, I'd do anything for you! I'd climb mountains! I'd cross oceans!"

"...And?"

Well, anyway. Soon enough, I'd found a heart that said TO. And there you have it. Once the meal finished, my place setting transformed into this:

I pooled hearts from other tables and began to create.

I think my favorite expression from the hearts is definitely MAN MAN. Hot. That's my new pick up line. Let's kiss and bear hug and smile, Man Man. What red blooded male could resist such verbal stimulus?There's a fiesty one.

I exhausted all amusing possibilities after this. If Necco thinks that AND and TO were enough to satisfy the conjunction and preposition needs of this sentence crafting enterprise, they are quite mistaken. Not real big on the verb collection either. ASK ME, SWEET TALK, CALL ME, DREAM and LOVE just aren't going to cut it.

So I turned to design. This was not as exciting but I did it nonetheless. The other option was to shake my booty to Soulja Boy in the other room. I'm sure the children were sorely disappointed. Sorely.Admire my artistry.

The candy heart lobster being my crowning achievement, the pinnacle of my career, I chose to retire and hang with the cool young teachers.

It wasn't long before my boss strolled by almost too casually and rolled an oversized pair of die onto the table before us.

"Let's wrestle"

"In the closet"

Cue shock and horror and squeals of delight. He then informed us that he'd confiscated them from an 8th grader this morning.

"Let's do it"

"On a chair"

Hahaha.